No illustrations

Sorry lunatics, i know its been awhile.. but ive been lazy or suffering from my genetically inherited disease commonly known as "semangat dua minit" or in english, A.D.D Attention Deficit Disorder.


So since i am feeling lazy like a chronic couch potato, this entry today is just purely text but i hope it still does its job and entertain you after a hard days work or make you think twice about suicide or getting that third piercing on your nose.


Alright! here we go. today's topic is basically phrases or jokes i have coined up on my own. If you have heard of them then that means someone else has heard my joke from me and told it to you and self-proclaimed it was theirs... and that is not an example of a noble human being and you should try your very best to avoid that kind of behavior; or i will spank you with a paddle laced with shattered glass. 


ok go!!




YOUR MAMA.

your mama is so STUPID.. she went to SUBWAY to take the train.


your mama is so FAT.. she ate the P.I.E


your mama is so UGLY.. she makes blind people vomit


your mama is so STUPID.. she needs a manual to read the manual


your mama is so FAT.. she has 4 sets of human organs in her


your mama is so UGLY.. when i saw her.. my heart had a heart attack


your mama is so Fat and UGLY.. Ultra Man punched her by mistake




MY DICK

My dick is so LONG.. when i have a long distance relationship, im still fucking her every night


My dick is so LONG.. when i lost the remote, i can still change the channel from where i am sitting


My dick is so HUGE.. it has to devour an antelope every month to sustain itself


My dick is so LONG.. the tip would sometimes get burnt because i would accidently fuck the sun


My dick is so LONG.. its the first human appendage on Everest


My dick is so MAGICAL.. when you look at it.. all your worries will dissipate to nothing


My dick is so MAGICAL.. when you touch it, you will smile the smile of a thousand Ethiopian kids getting MacDonalds for the first time


My dick is so ASTOUNDINGLY MAGICAL.. just kissing it.. will make you feel 2 decades younger


My dick is so HUGE.. i get rejected form sex alot because the girl dosent want stiches on her vagina


My dick is so HUGE.. i have to eat steroids so that i can fit my dick in my pants


My dick is so "READY TO POUNCE".. if i were to unzip now.. ill be poking your right eye to the back of your head


having a dick is tough work...




PHARASES

The Hangover

Have you ever heard this line?


To avoid a hangover... stay drunk... 


i heard it from two or three mat reps.


The person who coined this phrase must be a damn solid liquor salesperson.




Astrology 101


Aim for the moon and if u dont reach it
you'll lend among the stars...


The fucker who said this obviously skipped astrology classes.
the moon is millions of times closer to the earth then any star out there.




POEMS

I might draw my poems one day.. but as a teaser here it is.
just words.




What We Become

She tought me how to swim
and i tought her how to sing


Together the magic of our bonding transformed us..
Though unalike but the same


She became a mermaid
and i became a dolphin




Inner Animal

My friend called me a beast. 
Because i saw an attractive female and howled at her.
I turned to my friend, chin down, eyes fixated accompanied with a deranged sly smile.
I then ate my friend. He was bloody delicious. Literally. 

I sprinted with fevour to the attractive female next.
Her mix pheromones of Victoria Secret and Body Shop entered my mental through osmosis.
Unlocking a pandoras box of a potent compound of adrenelin, testostrone and lust
I call the compound adtostrust.


Some address the compound as sinn.
I say its a mental chemical pre-requisit 
which leads to an end to gnawing hunger
which cannot be nurished by vitamins, sugars and enzimes


Prey within distance, I leap with faith in my abilities.
Landed on her perfectly but violently. My hands pinned her shoulders. shes helpless
I gave my signature disturbing-based smile
opened my mouth and took a bite at the back of her neck; just below her hairline


With my left elbow pinning her down, the claws on my right arm rips her clothes with ease.
Like peeling the paper cover from a cold block of butter.
I proceed with my sacraledge, pilliage and profanation.
Her resistance is futile, her resistance.. all pretend.


I flipped her around and we gazed into eachother's windows
hers displayed dismay, intrigue and trust;
a stoic infatuation sprinkled with mutual understanding.
Mine displayed you are under my rule and I will keep you safe


Having an unspeakably vicious inner animal is torture
mantaining a sence of serenity is frivolous
having an unspeakably vicious inner animal is my essence
its hunger, burdensome but managabale.. at times




** My poems are mine, but the interpretation is up to you. so what ever you take away from here is totally yours. **


Remember  if u are feeling stressed or depressed, you can always ask to kiss my magical dick :) alright! stay safe and stay out of credit debts.

The walking omen

Happy Eid Mubarak one and all

Since the celebration of Eid is here. i guess it is only fitting that this entry is about an experience i had a few years back during the traditional visiting of friends and relatives during Eid.

I met up with the "Hardcore 84" gang which consist of Rev, Han, Ran, Zee, E.J and me. yes.. E.J is in this story also. If you are unfamiliar of E.J and his questionable antics, click here to read about him in an earlier entry. http://kimokies.blogspot.com/2011/04/night-at-beach.html

The visits started out well and normal with our 1st house being Zee's. The whole gang was there except E.J. We were going to visit E.J's home which was just a stone throw away after we were done at Zee's place. My guess was E.J was still at home either helping his mother clean up to prepare for guests or fondling himself while watching some abnormal or unconventional Japanese porn.. I doubt it was the first option.

After we had our fill of stupendous home cooked Malay food while watching two episodes of the hit-series "HEROS", we left for E.J's place. (P.S. i find "HEROS" a gay and unimaginative rip off of the Marvel comic cult "X-Men". People who find the show "extraordinary" or even good, may look mentally healthy but might suffer from possessing sad backgrounds, having fake marriages with their stuffed toys and/or have daddy issues. A.k.a Emos who were captivated, entranced and then follow pop culture)

*Random PMS rant

When we arrived at E.J's door step, he opened the door and let us in. He was wearing jeans but topless. If i were to dissect and explain in detail the sight that welcomed us, your nose might bleed or develop erectile dysfunction or suffer from weeks of insomnia so ill rather not.

But heres a picture anyway.

We slowly poured in; like entering his house was actually dangerous. The first ting we noticed immediately was the couch behind the door. it looks like any ordinary couch made for three except for the fact that the bottom part was lined with a tiger striped patterned cloth. it made the whole living room look

very "pornish".

We sat on and around the couch and spoke to each other in soft voices and watching our manners. While the t.v was playing across and his mom busy in the kitchen, E.J then came out of his room with a cap and a new, really loud purple t-shirt. He placed his cap on top of another table adjacent to us which had a few mini china ornaments on it.

We reacted to his fashion choice by laughing softly. E.J sensed the low toned chuckling was directed at him so he looked at us and asked..

"What??"

Then Rev answered

"E.J your t-shirt looks so gay sia"

He then looked down at his T, turned around, faced the kitchen and bellowed.. (quite squeamishly)

"Maaahh... does this T-shirt make me look gay?" trying to sound as adorable and boyish as one could muster which in turn made us squeamish

His mom looked over from the stove she was manning and replied

"Takdelah, mepek aje!!"

TRANSLATION: "no lah, nonsense only!!"

But E.J still wasn't convinced. so he went back to his room and put on a blue T-shirt which we have seen him wore before.

It was time for us to go and head to Han's house. So we all stood up to make a move and E.J came out from his room, walked over to the table where he left his cap and snatched it from the table. This was immediately accompanied by a sharp sound of glass shattering.

We all directed our attention to the floor. It was one of the china ornaments now in pieces. The poor inanimate object must be under the cap when E.J placed his cap on the table, and when he took the cap to wear it, the china ornament followed and landed on the uncushioned floor.

Everyone was in slight shock but me and Rev were chuckling first. Once again E.J directed his face towards the kitchen and spoke with his “Erik-Cartmen-from-the-animated-series-Southpark” mode of voice.

“Mmaaaahhh.. i broke one of your thing”

His mother came forward and saw what the commotion was about shook her head and said

“E.J, E.J, dah takpe nanti mak kemaskan.”

TRANSLATION: “E.J, E.J, never mind mummy will clean it up for you.”

Still giggling, we bid our farewell to E.J's sweet mom and proceeded to Han's home.

Once we arrived, we discovered that there were other guest as well and they were sitting at the living room. So Han directed and held us in his bedroom for the time being. He then went to the kitchen to help out with his mom abit.

In the room, some of us were on Han's little brother's bed or sitting on the floor. (Han forbade us to sit or lie on his bed)

E.J saw a wide, mobile, comfortable computer chair with back support and immediately gravitated towards it and plopped down on it.

The moment he did, another sharp sound was produced. This time it was more metallic. Afraid of breaking something and possibly having to pay for damages he reacted like lightning and jumped out of the chair and checked what went wrong.

He looked under the chair and found a metal knob which belong to a vintage kerosene lamp hanging by the wall behind where E.J was sitting.

Panicking, E.J started swearing a combo of “oh fuck”, “oh shit” and “oh no!”s simultaneously franticly trying to conceal the accident before Han entered the room. The rest of us were laughing at his sudden vigor and also of the fact that E.J created 2 catastrophes in less then three hours.

With the help of Lady Bad Timing, Han walked into the room, saw E.J fondling with something and asked with a concerned semi-worried voice “what are you doing??”

E.J turned his head gave a goofy smile and see that he has no alternative but to come clean. After explaining to Han in a very very apologetic tone, Han gave him the look of anguish and disappointment, took the metal knob from E.J, went to the kitchen and complained to his mom in a loud tone that one of his friend has defaced an expensive vintage item. We knew he was just fucking with E.J's mind but E.J was to worried to catch it.

This got E.J even more worried. He sighed, looked down, put on a sad slouch and walked to the end of Han's bed (which was not permitted) and once again plopped down.

Instantaneously like dynamite the bed gave way within milliseconds E.J was on the floor with a broken bed. E.J immediately stood up to examine the damage he caused. The rest of us were paralysed with laughter. Han rushed into the room responding to the commotion.

When Han saw his broken bed and E.J's goofy, but sorry face. Han tried to look serious and irate. But he couldn't hold it for long and he joined in the laughter also. Han then just shook his head and commented to E.J about him being a walking disaster and E.J just laughed it off.

Thankfully no other calamities ensued after that. So with that i end my story and wish all you Muslim readers a happy, joyful and blessed Eid Mubarak. Peace!

lil B

My Little Brother

My lil bro is all grown up now. And he is quite a rock star in the local underground scene from what i heard. If you heard of the band "Melting Ice" his the vocals for that group.

But i remember a time long ago when his vocab was very limited, he was way shorter and he would shit in his diapers.

Here are a few incidents which upon remembering back upon them... made me giggle till my kidneys bleed.

Naming things
Age: 4 - 5yrs

He would name animals as they are. And would repeat it until it sounds really bothersome.

Fasting
Age: 6 – 7yrs

At that age he was learning how to fast when the fasting month came. So as “training” he was allowed to break fast earlier then the adults which was around 3 o'clock.

There was an occasion where him and I followed our grandparents to the Geylang Market. He followed granny and I followed grandpa. We went our separate ways and finished out errands. We rendezvoused back at a corner store near grandpa's car around 3pm. I saw my grandma standing at the corner somewhat blocking my little brother behind her. Out of curiosity I went around her and sure enough I found my little brother. He looked up at me surprised and with his little mouth stuffed with oranges; it was an odd and funny sight. A little boy trying to hide from the world that he had stop fasting by shoving as much as he can and chewing as fast as he can into this pie hole.

Princess Diaries

Age: 2 – 3Yrs

We used to live very near our grandparents place. Its just the next block actually. So there was a time when my grandparents took care of him for the morning. But if i could recall my little brother vomited or stained his clothes and had to be changed. The problem is, my grandparents didn't have any proper baby clothes for boys so in the end when they returned him back to my parents..

He was dressed in a pink dress which used to be worn by my little sister. They must have dug the dress out from their dusty store room. My grandfather also had a wicked sense of humor; so to top off the dress, he also made my little bro wear the huge pink bow-tie that went along with the outfit. Just for kicks. I laughed like a lunatic when i saw him. His expressionless face, too young to realise that he was cross-dressing. My mom was smiling heavily when she received him back.

If i had a time machine, Its soul purpose would be to bring me back in time at that moment so that i can take a picture and show my little bro how confused he was back then.

Angry at the Floor

Age: 4 - 5Yrs

At this age he almost would have almost mastered the complicated but necessary art of walking. It gets him from point A to point B but there are occasions of slip ups and trips.

I remember one humid afternoon

he was hobbling around as usual.

And then...

In a fit for revenge he got straight back up, went to the table and took a single sheet of A4 paper that was lying on top.

Rolled it to a cylinder shape... and went to the spot where he feel and whacked the floor with his newly improvised weapon.

Now he has lost all his cuteness, and abit of a douche bag now.. but what can i say?? he takes after his brother. Take care and have fun you all!! 

EEeeeww!!

EEeeeww!!


Few years ago when i was doing my compulsary servitude
to the nation, we had to clear this 
yearly stipulation of shooting the rifle at a shooting range
at an individual level for 2 reasons.
First is to make us more familiar with the rifle and secondly if anyone get a high enough score, we will get a marks-man badge.

This was the setting of where I personally feel i witnessed the Guinness world record of the biggest human
byproduct ever dug/secreted out; where the point of exit
isn't the anus.

Heres the skinny of it. During the shoot, we are required to wear ear plugs. Most of us used the ones
we purchased from the mini mart which sells standatd army items located in our camp. It looks something like this...

My detail was one of the middle ones. so after our turn, we had around 4 hours at the holding area which for dusk to come and we 

can commence our night shoot.

after shooting, my detail and i trudged back to the holding area to wait for the night shoot. the lay out was something like this. A long bench can hold 1 detail.

I was just gazing blankly at the trees in the distance... stoning in lucidity... day dreaming of nothing to be honest.
Or  i was thinking about sex with Rene Zelwiger again... my mind tends to meander towards that direction alot.

I was transported out of my psychedelic zone when i felt someone from behind taping me. It was Reid and beside him Noh.

I turn my head back to find them covering the lower part of their faces and giggling at full throttle and pointing at something 
beside me which is below shoulder level.

i gave them a confused combined with a "fucking pissed off" look and then directed my eyes to where they were pointing. 
The gasoline of their hyeana like manner.

I swear to you upon everything thats holy... I saw.. the largest cluster of ear wax ever to be accumilated on a ear plug.


* Give me a moment to compose myself.. remembering that horrible sight.... hurts like a sharp migrain*


I promise you on my man hood i am not exagerating


At that moment out of sheer horror, disgust and fear i exclaimed..


" eh Tee!!.. what the FARK is that SEE-AAALLL??!!"


while pointing to the monstrosity of human discharge.


He gave me his " what does this joker want now" look and unhappily ask me


"Ward..??" 

"Eh! you never bathe ah??!!" I was pretty loud at this point of time but I didn't realise it. 
I am sure you all have these rare golden moments also where you know what you are doing or saying but have little control on the delivery because your system is pumped with angst, stress and adrenalin.


I pointed stiffly at the ear wax.


Tee jokingly tried to wipe the life-sized smurf poo on my uniform. My body immediately reacted and went to "on guard" mode. the finger that was pointing became a fist and i gave him a stern verbal warning.


" I will fucking punch you in the face..."


With all seriousness

He then wiped it on his uniform and the wax just tumbled to the floor. 


I looked back and Reid and Noh were still tring their upmost in containing their laughter. They started calling me an ass-hole or "macam sial" in melay. I justified to them that i was in pure shock
I have never came across some thing so grotest and massive at such close proximity.

I decided to go for a smoke to calm myself down. I returned to my original seat and it seems that 
everything has gone back to normal. I even started laughing in retrospect on how unexpected I reacted.


A few moments later. a seargent tapped my shoulder to get my attention. he gave me his sweet dorkey smile and
asked me if he could borrow my ear plugs.
Now I dont really know this sergent he sudenly seem extra friendly with me out of a sudden. I was basicly creeped out.


I paused.. gave him a sacraledgious grin and instructed him to wait.


I turned and called out.. " TEEeeeee..." still smiling like a hungry fox.


"Ward??"

Now one thing about Tee is he has a colossal heart. always willing to lend a hand at the drop of a hat.
I told him about the sergeant's predicement and he willingly passed his earplugs.


Still smiling, I handed them over, (I was careful not to touch the earplugs I touched the red cord that were connecting them) he thanked me and marched on away. 


i know i know i am a stinking douche bag...

Phobia part 2

Phobia part deux

If you have read my previous entry about my phobia, you will know by now that i am.. well.. was a scardy cat. For this entry, its the story of how i heroicly stomped the face of acrophobia and learn that there is nothing to fear with heights. Its the same as looking far; only downwards.

At the age of when i was able to walk but still in diapers, my parents went on a holiday and took me with them. It was a two week tour of Perth and Gold Coast i think. I cannot really recall much of the experience for i was really really young. Part of it i remember, being in a strawberry field and i plucked one out and shoved it into my mouth. 

The red produce was really sour so i spat it back out all over my red and blue sweater which had like a Power Rangers diamond pattern. 

That experience, i feel has contributed to my phobia of fruits.. but thats another story for another entry.

I also vividly remember the ordeal that my excited, then young parents put me through.

All i remembered in detail is this. We entered a decent hotel room. 1 toilet, 1 queensize bed, 1 tv and one sliding window. The room was painted seashell white and we were roughly on the 14^th floor.

I had no idea what came over my parent but they were suddenly jilted with unnatural zeal. My mom took me under my armpits and lifted me to the window and ask me to “pegang ni” which translates to hold this. 


She was refering to the window rails.

I gave a very worried look. My mom then walked back and my dad took photos of me in that precarious position. During the whole ordeal, i was about to cry. 

Then i twisted my head over my shoulder and looked 14 stories down. 

I then blackly looked back at them ( i think i shat myself ) and cried like someone sprayed onion juice at my eyes. My face was contorted giving the expression that my skin was on fire.... i just didn't want to die..

Put me the FARK down please!!!!!

after like 3 snaps, my debatablely insane parents took me down and comforted me... i cant recall what happened after that but i guess the rest of the holiday went well for I am still alive and kicking and heights don't bother me that much if i know i am behind a safe railing or in a stable plane.

To read Phobia part uno click here

The Deftones Concert

The Deftones Concert

I love rock music especially American alternative rock. One of the bands that I favour is Deftones. I own their White Pony album and loosely memorise a few songs from that album, but I don’t consider myself an over-the-top hardcore fan. The reason for this is because I have a friend who has set a very high standard for the title hardcore fan. Let me introduce you to my friend Iz.

I can safely say that Iz is involved in a cult where they basically worship Deftones (like how some people in Argentina pray to the football player Maradona). Let me present to you evidence for my conclusion.

Exhibit A; he has all the albums of Deftones.

Exhibit B; he knows all the song lyrics and band member names by heart.

Exhibit C; the word Deftones is infused in his email address.

Lastly but most importantly Exhibit D; 3 days prior to Deftones performing in Singapore, they are to do so at Kuala Lumpur. Iz brought tickets to both the Singapore and Kuala Lumpur show. So he took leave to travel up to Kuala Lumpur, stayed at a dodgy hostel and meet up with a Caucasian guy and his girlfriend that he got acquainted with on Facebook to watch their performance together. After that came back the next day to attend the Singapore concert the following night. In his defense, he said that he has been waiting for 11 years to see the band live. Luckily with both kidneys in tact.  I rest my case. 

About 3 moths back, I entered an online competition to win a pair of tickets the “DEFTONES LIVE IN SIGAPORE” concert. The condition of winning this competition was to simply state why is it that I deserve the tickets amongst everybody else. I slammed my head against the table until I cracked open my skull and poured red bull onto the creative part of my brain and came up with an ingenious phrase. It went something like.

Hey guys! I am a hardcore undying fan of Deftones. If you decide to present me with the free tickets, it will bring me great pleasure like giving a 12year old girl a magical purple flying unicorn for her birthday.

  

I wasn’t very optimistic on acquiring the free tickets due my past luck with online black jack and I’m sure there are other more creative “hardcore undying” fans out there who probably state that they would take their own life with cyanide if they are not deemed the winner. But to my jubilant surprise, I received an email a few days after bearing the good news of my win. I was ecstatic with disbelief and joy.

I got a pair of tickets and now trying to figure out who I know would like to go with me. From my knowledge, all the friends that I knew had never exactly expressed any interest in the band; all except one, my friend Iz.

But sadly Iz had purchased his tickets before I got mine. So I decided to sell my other ticket online at a discounted price.

The big night has finally arrived, I have acutely planned out everything.

My attire
A thin worn out t-shirt to keep me cool and it won’t be missed in the event of it being ripped or tragically stained.

A pair of durable jeans that doesn’t restrict movement for comfort.

A pair of durable shoes which just like the t-shirt won’t be missed in the event of permanently being stained/ disfigured.

And most importantly a pair of good briefs, boxers wont serve me well in this situation. I like my balls in place when I jump and get pushed around.

Yeap those are my abs!! 

My Survival Bag

It was a simple brown cloth sling bag which was given by my friends as a souvenir from Thailand (thanks guys I heart U).

My Survival Bag Contents

An extra top for after everything you’ll be covered in 40% your own and 60% other strangers bodily fluids.
A hand towel to wipe your face when sweat gets in your eye.
Ciggies, they kill my arteries but keeps me awake.
Lighter, because unlike a wizard, I cant snap my fingers and magically materialise fire to light my ciggies with.
A packet of tissue to throw away my gum with.
Digital camera for cam-whoring and paparazzi wannabeing.
Ipod mini, company for the train journey to and fro.
Axe medicated oil - for muscle pulls or a makeshift eye irritant for moshers who are abit to overzealous
A bottle of water to water the grass or for self-consumption

I took the train to the nearest station to the event, met Iz and we made a short pit stop at a convenience store. After our purchase, we walked in the direction of the venue. We got lost abit so we turned around asked a few strangers who were walking behind us. They all had no idea themselves and were actually following us; I smiled at myself for I find the circumstance alittle humorous. But never the less, we pressed on… its only Singapore anyway, if you get lost here, just keep walking in one direction and you’ll find your way in 5 minutes (advice for future tourists).

With blind luck and perseverance we found the place.

         Hurah!!

The stage was on top of a hill and the entrance was at the foot. We sat down near the entrance for I have to meet my anonymous ticket buyer and Iz’s friend who will be joining us. I met my buyer, we did our exchange and Iz’s friend Jo also arrived soon after. We were still sitting at the same spot waiting for the band to start when we spotted an old friend from my poly days; Kai. Kai was in formal office clothes and pulling behind him a medium sized mobile luggage.

 We asked if he was here by chance or to witness Deftones, his answer was that he wanted to gate crash. I couldn’t help but give him a puzzled grin… I expressed to him my concern of his luggage offsetting his mobility for the art of gate crashing carries the same principles as ninjitsu; Stealth and nimbleness. He said he’ll figure something out and will meet us inside. I was cynical and wished there was someway to help.

Iz, Jo and I went in after that to check out the lay out and also the Deftones merchandise. We whipped out our tickets at the entrance, exchanged them for an orange paper cuff and waltz in.

 Iz and Jo went to check out the booths there, while I wandered nearer to the stage to see if there is anyone else I recognise in the crowd. While wandering, I chanced upon a ripped orange paper cuff on the wet grassy ground. I looked around, inconspicuously bend down as if to dust something off my shoe and like a seasoned pick pocket, slit the cuff into my survival bag.

I hopped off trying to contain my excitement. I exited the venue searching franticly for someone. When I found him, I shouted “Kai!!” he directed his attention to me, turned his right palm up and shrugged his right shoulder alittle with one raised eyebrow silently asking “what?”

I walked closer to him, opened the mouth my survival bag and showed him the cuff. He gave me the priceless look of astonishment and softly asked me.

“How much do I owe you?”

I wasn’t prepared for that question so I thought of a very fair amount proposed it to him and he instantly agreed.

We then gleefully made it to the entrance, presented our cuffs and got in.

Due to the strict security checks and Kai’s humongous luggage, Kai urged me to go first for the band is starting.

I said “Ok see you there!” and jogged of to join the swarm of moshers.

I meekly made my way to the front part of the stage by sliding in between shoulders. I was praying I wouldn’t enrage anyone and get en elbow on my delicate face. Convinced that I cannot proceed any further, I stopped and enjoyed the performance where I was; which was 4 rows of people from the stage.

The rocking starts and people went ballistic, bodies were used as projectiles and there was the occasional body surfer. I spotted Iz and Jo, they were behind me violently moshing with a bunch of Caucasians who surpassed their height and girth. Those guys are insane. Till this day I can never understand the joy of purposely slamming your sweaty body with those of another dude.

At one point, the vocalist Chino leaned over to the crowd while screaming the chorus of a song. I got to touch his sweaty scalp. I giggled to myself for it was the first time I touched a non-Singaporean celebrity.

Through out the concert I was surrounded by guys with the exception of a girl in front of me. I decided to stick behind her for I feel it’s better to be squashed with a girl then a guy… they smell better and also.. its debatable that I’m a closet pervert.

The concert finally ended... I was wet with questionable bodily fluids and parched. I made friends with the pre-mentioned girl I’ve been tailing. Her name was Sol, she was from Surabaya and flew to Singapore juat to catch the band. Her friends came to join us and we got formally introduced. I was listening to Sol half-heartedly because I was looking for my friends Iz, Jo and Kai, my attention peaked when she mentioned that she was staying at the same hotel and level with the band members of Deftones which was just behind the stage. I put on my straight “don’t-know-the-meaning-of-shame” face and as if in fear of rejection asked “hey I know we just met and all but… I really wana take pictures with the members. So… is it ok with you if I crash abit at your place? And ill be out of your hair once I have the pics” . Without hesitation she happily gave her approval and I thanked her (I love friendly people). We exchanged contacts for I have to go find Iz and Jo to ask if they want to tag along. I met Iz and Jo outside the concert venue and told them of the picture taking opportunity. They declined my offer for they are to lazy and physically worn out from the constant abuse they just subjected their bodies to.

I soon receive an unknown number on my cell; it was Sol’s friend. He franticly shared news that the members are in the lobby and if I want my pictures I better make a run for it. With haste I said bye to Iz and Jo and dashed straight to the hotel lobby which was around 140 meters away.

When I reached, all the members except Chino was there taking pictures or signing autographs. I waited patiently for my turn and shyly asked for a picture and signature.

We only got the pictures and signatures of 3 members and just missed the drummer, Abe.

Sol then invited all of us to her room to chill for a bit. We took the elevator to the third level and were proceeding to Sol room when we heard a door open at the room we just passed. Out crept Abe! He was on his way to shower. But we were heartless barbarians and stopped him for pictures and conversation. 

After repeatingly excusing himself, we finally let him go and made our way to Sol’s room.

The room was nice, it was with a modern minimalist concept with a small balcony to enjoy a smoke outdoors. We all took turns to the toilet to freshen up and hydrated ourselves. After 20 minutes of stimulating conversation, we all decided to leave for Sol was looking pretty worn out. I said my thanks and goodbye to Sol one last time and gave her a tight hug. She left Singapore the next day but we have been good friends and always poking each other on Facebook ever since.

Sol & me