When we were young.... life = drama
In my secondary school days, best friend Rev, my bud E.J and I would normally meet up under my block on Friday nights at 8pm with our bikes. After having everything accounted for, we would ride over to the nearest beach, sit on the water breaker and have shallow boy talk. If Rev brought his guitar along even better, we’ll have a Foo-Fighters sing-along.
On a particular Friday night, everything was as normal as a calm heart beat. But things got alittle too dramatic for me and Rev’s taste.
We just chilled, talked and discuss about everyday things and debating about life itself (it made us feel deep and philosophical); though our understanding of how it works was as weak as a bite from a small black ant.
After an hour or so of chatting and laughing like drunken hobos, E.J bursts into sudden hysteria and started flailing both his arms behind his head as if to brush away the largest and most painful lice with acid spit. His delirium was also companied by 3 sharp whimpers which sounded like "HERGH! HERGH! HERGH!"
Me and Rev just looked up at him with just a pinch of alarm. its not that we are mean or couldn’t care less but throughout our life of knowing E.J, we characterise him under people who can be socially awkward and would do stuff for attention so... for him to do that, to us is as normal as a selling meat at a butcher stall.
Once his theatrics were over, he calmed himself down and sat back down to where he originally was. Rev thought that it was best to leave the matter alone but due to my undying inquisitive hunger I couldn’t help but pry open my mouth and ask.
Me: “So what happened there? “
E.J: “Some fucking insect I think was a fucking cockroach ah.. was flying on my head”
Me: *Started to laugh loudly* a.k.a LOL
E.J: “Whaattt??!!” - with a very aggitated tone
Me: “well coz you’re like big size and all, and the cockroach is like a teeny little thing... and your afraid of it?? Come on!! How are you going to survive when you enroll in the army??”
E.J: “Whats that go to do with anything??!! I mean like yea I’m afraid of flying insects.. I mean everyone has their fears what?? Come on ah, you think you got no fears is it???” bla bla bla…
I cannot really recall what E.J said after that for I have lost interest and started a conversation with Rev about how E.J is over-reacting to my remarks which were said not to offend but to just tease. Like a girl greeting her best friend “Yo! Wad up biatch??!!”. It was all in the sake of goofing around. E.J wasn’t familiar nor a fan of this concept.
So after ranting to himself for a while, E.J realised that Rev and I were not giving him the attention he was looking for. He then got up while muttered something which I think falls along the line of “Fuck this!” and stormed off to his bike.
Me: “E.J where you going?” (I tell you.. I’m a chronic kaypo)
E.J: *still muttering to himself and not answering*
Me: Mmmoouu... k..kkaayyy...
E.J gripped the handles of his bike, lifted his right leg, mounted the seat, kick the stand, cycled abit and…
E.J: “WWWAAEEHHHHH!!!!”
I snapped my head around to see what the commotion was about, but E.J has curiously disappeared. Rev saw everything and he told me that after cycling around the grass patch for abit, E.J tried to do a wheelie and somehow miscalculated and nose dived into the ditch and somersaulted on to the beach.
Diagram of the beach (Left: Top View; Right: Side View)
Me: “Is he ok?”
Rev: * shrugs *
Worry was just beginning to seep into our juvenile minds when we heard laughter, it was E.J's. He must have enjoyed the thrill ride to be laughing.
Me: “Eh E.J you ok?” (You see.. I can’t stop asking questions)
E.J answered by giggling and talking to himself with glee while pushing his bike out of the ditch. Maybe he didn’t hear me, oh well. I’m guessing if he is not discombobulated enough to push his bike out, I’m guessing he'll live.
E.J pushed his bike near a lamppost on a pavement nearby to check out the damage of his bike. Rev and I know better then to commence any form of communication with E.J when he is in his talk-to-myself mode. So we did what any kind loyal friend would do; we let him be and continued on with our conversations.
After 5 minutes or so, this is what we heard.
E.J: "aayy.. aayyyy!!! AAAAYYYYY!!!!"
At this time we were in the "gosh... what now??" phase of thought. When we looked behind, to our shock and disbelief, 3 stray dogs out of no where have surrounded E.J in a triangle formation. (have no idea how they got there; could be relatives of Cerberus)
They didn’t look menacing but more like curious, probably thinking " what is this chunky human trying to do?"
In an attempt to scare them away, buddy made the "aayy!!" noises while slamming his bike by the tire on to the pavement repeatedly.
This only made the dogs tilt their head slightly. In desperation, E.J continued his persistent noise making and took a step closer to the dogs. The dogs finally got E.J’s " you do NOT wanna fuck with this chunky man tonight, not ever!!" vibe and scampered off.
After which he called it a night and rode off home. Alone.
Soon me and Rev did the same thing for it was time for us to go anyway.
And after everything that has happened, all that has been said and done. It all didn’t mean a thing. Because in E.J’s world, regular colorful outbursts and rantings were his natural cycle; like my morning routing of defecating an hour after having breakfast. The following day at 8 am E.J called and woke Rev up from his sleep and asked.
E.J: "So what do you guys have planned for today?"
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