Wednesday, September 21, 2011

No illustrations



Sorry lunatics, i know its been awhile.. but ive been lazy or suffering from my genetically inherited disease commonly known as "semangat dua minit" or in english, A.D.D Attention Deficit Disorder.



So since i am feeling lazy like a chronic couch potato, this entry today is just purely text but i hope it still does its job and entertain you after a hard days work or make you think twice about suicide or getting that third piercing on your nose.


Alright! here we go. today's topic is basically phrases or jokes i have coined up on my own. If you have heard of them then that means someone else has heard my joke from me and told it to you and self-proclaimed it was theirs... and that is not an example of a noble human being and you should try your very best to avoid that kind of behavior; or i will spank you with a paddle laced with shattered glass. 


ok go!!




YOUR MAMA.

your mama is so STUPID.. she went to SUBWAY to take the train.


your mama is so FAT.. she ate the P.I.E


your mama is so UGLY.. she makes blind people vomit


your mama is so STUPID.. she needs a manual to read the manual


your mama is so FAT.. she has 4 sets of human organs in her


your mama is so UGLY.. when i saw her.. my heart had a heart attack


your mama is so Fat and UGLY.. Ultra Man punched her by mistake




MY DICK

My dick is so LONG.. when i have a long distance relationship, im still fucking her every night


My dick is so LONG.. when i lost the remote, i can still change the channel from where i am sitting


My dick is so HUGE.. it has to devour an antelope every month to sustain itself


My dick is so LONG.. the tip would sometimes get burnt because i would accidently fuck the sun


My dick is so LONG.. its the first human appendage on Everest


My dick is so MAGICAL.. when you look at it.. all your worries will dissipate to nothing


My dick is so MAGICAL.. when you touch it, you will smile the smile of a thousand Ethiopian kids getting MacDonalds for the first time


My dick is so ASTOUNDINGLY MAGICAL.. just kissing it.. will make you feel 2 decades younger


My dick is so HUGE.. i get rejected form sex alot because the girl dosent want stiches on her vagina


My dick is so HUGE.. i have to eat steroids so that i can fit my dick in my pants


My dick is so "READY TO POUNCE".. if i were to unzip now.. ill be poking your right eye to the back of your head


having a dick is tough work...




PHARASES

The Hangover

Have you ever heard this line?


To avoid a hangover... stay drunk... 


i heard it from two or three mat reps.


The person who coined this phrase must be a damn solid liquor salesperson.




Astrology 101


Aim for the moon and if u dont reach it
you'll lend among the stars...


The fucker who said this obviously skipped astrology classes.
the moon is millions of times closer to the earth then any star out there.




POEMS

I might draw my poems one day.. but as a teaser here it is.
just words.




What We Become

She tought me how to swim
and i tought her how to sing


Together the magic of our bonding transformed us..
Though unalike but the same


She became a mermaid
and i became a dolphin




Inner Animal

My friend called me a beast. 
Because i saw an attractive female and howled at her.
I turned to my friend, chin down, eyes fixated accompanied with a deranged sly smile.
I then ate my friend. He was bloody delicious. Literally. 

I sprinted with fevour to the attractive female next.
Her mix pheromones of Victoria Secret and Body Shop entered my mental through osmosis.
Unlocking a pandoras box of a potent compound of adrenelin, testostrone and lust
I call the compound adtostrust.


Some address the compound as sinn.
I say its a mental chemical pre-requisit 
which leads to an end to gnawing hunger
which cannot be nurished by vitamins, sugars and enzimes


Prey within distance, I leap with faith in my abilities.
Landed on her perfectly but violently. My hands pinned her shoulders. shes helpless
I gave my signature disturbing-based smile
opened my mouth and took a bite at the back of her neck; just below her hairline


With my left elbow pinning her down, the claws on my right arm rips her clothes with ease.
Like peeling the paper cover from a cold block of butter.
I proceed with my sacraledge, pilliage and profanation.
Her resistance is futile, her resistance.. all pretend.


I flipped her around and we gazed into eachother's windows
hers displayed dismay, intrigue and trust;
a stoic infatuation sprinkled with mutual understanding.
Mine displayed you are under my rule and I will keep you safe


Having an unspeakably vicious inner animal is torture
mantaining a sence of serenity is frivolous
having an unspeakably vicious inner animal is my essence
its hunger, burdensome but managabale.. at times




** My poems are mine, but the interpretation is up to you. so what ever you take away from here is totally yours. **


Remember  if u are feeling stressed or depressed, you can always ask to kiss my magical dick :) alright! stay safe and stay out of credit debts.









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