This is a paid ad by the Kimokies corporation.
Solution: Offer her Kimokies!
So what are you waiting for? dont wait! call 91763617 to get your own tub of amazing Kimokies. Make your new years memorable.. make it a Kimokies new year!
We interrupt your daily mundane routine of seeking attention on facebook and scrolling through 9gag for this important commercial!!
Chinese New year is coming!! Woohoo!! or as the Chinese will say.. Wu Hu!!
Time to reacquaint with long lost family.
Like any family reunion, there are those that we are happy
to see and also who annoy us with their incorrigible behavior; like a huge pimple on your eyelid partially covering your eye.
Eg of such twats:
1) The annoying uncle whose a drunk, a suspected pedophile and
also lactose intolerant.
also lactose intolerant.
2) The proud parents of a child prodigy.
And everyone's favorite… 3) The cynical mother in law.
For those suffering from any of these situations fret not!!
Have we got smashing news!!!
Have we got smashing news!!!
Situation 1: The annoying unkempt drunk uncle who is lactose
intolerant?
intolerant?
Solution: Shove into his gaping booze gulping mouth a bottle of
Kimokies!
Kimokies!
Result: scientist from the Allergy Association of Singapore (ASS)
claimed that if a subject is lactose intolerant and has his/her
mouth stuffed with dairy or egg products, said subject will
have continuous rocket powered diarrhea with 34% chance
of terminal rectal hemorrhaging!
claimed that if a subject is lactose intolerant and has his/her
mouth stuffed with dairy or egg products, said subject will
have continuous rocket powered diarrhea with 34% chance
of terminal rectal hemorrhaging!
Now you can enjoy your celebrations with people who make the event pleasant and memorable and the disruptive uncle will be stuck in your toilet vandalizing the place brown! AWESOME!
Situation 2: Are your kids only inclined in trading Pokemon cards
and winning trophies at cos-play conventions?
Is your spiteful younger sister married a balding and
belly protruding but rich ang-mo?
and winning trophies at cos-play conventions?
Is your spiteful younger sister married a balding and
belly protruding but rich ang-mo?
What's worse... They
smashed privates and spawned
mix-blooded children who possess a loathing stash of
intelligence.
Now her kid’s herculean academic achievements and
super-human contribution to society are the only
subjects she excessively brags about?
mix-blooded children who possess a loathing stash of
intelligence.
Now her kid’s herculean academic achievements and
super-human contribution to society are the only
subjects she excessively brags about?
Solution: Offer her Kimokies!
Kimokies is a
guaranteed conversation subject-sticker.
With Kimokies on your dining table, curiosity will soon
evolve to endless conversations on how mind-fuckingly
fantastic these cookies are.
With Kimokies on your dining table, curiosity will soon
evolve to endless conversations on how mind-fuckingly
fantastic these cookies are.
And BOOM! She will forget how awesome and smart the by-products
of her fallopian tubes are and talk about nothing; but the genius of Kimokies the
whole night! RADICAL!!
Last of all..
Situation 3: everyone's favorite.. the cynical mother in law.
Situation 3: everyone's favorite.. the cynical mother in law.
Don't u just hate them? When you were growing up, you had a
female authority constantly tell u not dig your nose in public, sit up straight
and threaten to call the police when you misbehaved to scare the living fuck
out of you.
Now you have two moms.. And the one who you got by marriage
is a bezeellion (not an actual word (it means more than a lot)) times more
annoying!
So how do u handle a level 70 three-eyed, unshaven succubus
with four pairs of rank smelling tits lactating venom like her?
Step1: Tell her she is a lousy baker and challenge her that
she can't
make a batch of meringue cookies delicious enough worthy
to rival Kimokies.
make a batch of meringue cookies delicious enough worthy
to rival Kimokies.
Step 2: Due to tradition and her rock-solid willingness to
not bring
dishonor to her family name she will accept the challenge
faster than you can say “hwang fei hong!”
dishonor to her family name she will accept the challenge
faster than you can say “hwang fei hong!”
Challenge accepted faggot face!!
Enjoy your family reunion time in the living room while she
is busy in the kitchen for hours trying to replicate a cookie which “SCRUMPTIOUS”
magazines branded "delicious on a galactic level" "truely original" "uncopyable"! FAR OUT!!!
So what are you waiting for? dont wait! call 91763617 to get your own tub of amazing Kimokies. Make your new years memorable.. make it a Kimokies new year!
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