sucks to be a bee

i was having my dinner just now. and i have this habit of eating with my eyes also. as in i need visual stimulation for me to really feel that i have had a full meal. and that stimulation normaly comes frm the big flat square thing which emits harmless amounts of radiation. yes the t.v.


In my house we follow a silently enforced, golden unbreakable rule "HE WHO HAS THE REMOTE, THEREFORE HAS THE CONTROL" Verse 19:84 from the Holy Book of a Semi-Dysfuntional Family.

so at that particular time, the HE was a she.. my sister was holding the remote. so i didnt have a choice but to sit and eat my hot fries & orange fish cake with a honey, mayonese, chilli sauce, soya sauce and chilli padi dip watching what she was watching.

tonight was the animated kids comedy "BEE MOVIE" you know the one starring the voice over of legandary comedian jerry seinfield <--- i have no idea if this is corecctly spelt. <--- i have no idea if correcctly is corecctly spelt.


so while gobbling down home made fast food n watching that show..
i came to a realisation... man it would totally suck to be a bee!!

dont you think? i mean think about it...

u were born in a life of regimentation + farmer. you burst out from an egg as an ugly larve. at this stage, you look like a slightly mutated and animated soya bean.

this, by the way is the only holiday you have in your life for you are only required to eat, and grow more bee looking parts before before you are worked to death like a flourecent light bulb at a 24hour lavatory establishment.

so when you finally shed your skin and emerge with your bee-like exo-skeleton, you now have to pay your dues to the queen and the colony.
yeap there is no king, your ass is owned by one mean devil-wears-prada, tolerate-no-bull-shit diva of a woman. In other words a capital BITCH

you are suppose to fly amazing distances to colorful, sweet scented flowers to collect pollen and necter. but then the bee may ask

Bee Jr: "ok... so wheres the bucket we are gona use to collect all this pollen and necter??"

Bee senior: "Son you kidding?? we bees, we not lil gerls going fo an easter bunny hunt. wit baskets n buckets to put our chocolate eggs in."

Bee jr: "so... what.. we hold them?? in case you havent realised.. im a bee! i got six legs which i dont really use because i have wings, a pair of antena which pokes my right eye too much... AND NO HANDS..."

Bee senior: "son.. yo see the hairy hind legs yo got??"

Bee jr: * nodds *

Bee senior: "yo use that to collect da gud stuff!"

i kid you not... bees collect those things they need to make honey with the hairs of their hind legs.

thats bummer number one.

bummer number two.

you are also required to defend your homeground should any perpetrator pose the hive with any form of threat. might i add not to just defend.. but defend with your life.. literally.

to ward off any assailents, you have been equipt with a short sword, which.. dosent do any good slashing so you have to only pierce like poking a straw through a paket drink. and then.. you cant use any of your limbs to jab or filial it around.. no.. its stapled to your tail bone right above your anus.

and lastly.. when you do attack and sucessesfully pierce the bad guy.. guess what?? the joke is still on you!!.. because your sword which is tightly stapled to your butt, had tiny hooks which are connected to all your major organs including your heart. so after piercing naturally you will move away for another chance to poke the invader a new asshole. but when you do.. the sword stays.. along with your organs.. and before u realise it.. you are dying because there is no biological mechanism inside you pumping blood and processing oxygen...

 

and then you die.

tell me otherwise if that isan't a sad gig??