Fader dai

Fathers day is around the corner.

So as you might have guessed, this entry is a tribute to them.

Yes the self-loathing provider, disciplinarian and the one holding diplomatic immunity in the house hold.

My dad is legally Javanese but stereotypically Malay. I have a joke which revolves around my dad and what a pain a “Malay” father can be. But suprisingly when I share them with my friends of different ethnicity, most of them said their dads are also similar. So if the following of what I am going to say suits the description of your dad also.. then just know that you are not alone. We all have to put up with another version of him at our own homes. J

The joke goes like this:

Lets say you are watching TV, and you are sitting on the floor with a mug of your favorite chilled beverage beside you. and Dad comes and accidentally spilled your drink.

This is what he'll scream:

“EH yew no brain or what??!! Put the cup on the centre of this planet!!”


Ok now the roles are reversed, your dad is watching TV with the beverage and you are the one who accidentaly knocked his mug over.

 Dad will then screech: "Eh dumb-dumb! yew walk see wit your nose or eyes!!??"


And if he was the one who knocks over his own beverage... he would exclaim...

"Alamak...."

Happy fathers day you all :)

Phobia Series: Part 1 (Darkness)

Phobia series

Scardy cat. Yeap that is what I am. Well at least in my pre-adolescent years. So here are the list of things I was petrified of and also how I overcame them.

Scardy Cat

Part 1 (Darkness)

From the time I wore diapers, I was afraid of everything…. I mean everything; the dark, water, heights, other people who aren’t my parents, my grandparents, statues, getting lost, bugs, I even had a phobia of fruits till I was 24. But now these things don’t particularly bother me anymore.

Here’s what happened

How I conquered the dark.

When I was young, I was a mischievous and naughty hybrid of a devil cum demon. As punishment, my parent would chuck me into the bedroom or storeroom during night time and off the lights and slam the door. 

I was too short to reach the switch at that time so I had to marinate in the darkness for a few minutes crying till my parents to let me out.

I'm sowwie... maaahhh... sob sob... 

But after a few incidents of this, I realized something. Going in the room in the dark isthe equivalent to going in the room with your eyes closed.

Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein  

There isn’t anything in the room that will hurt me. The bed, the chair, the table, the cupboard and etc are all inanimate objects. The only way for those things to hurt me is when I feel adventurous, explore the room like a blind "Indiana Jones" and bump into them.

       Tu tee tut tu.. tu tee tuuu... tu tee tut tuuu.. tu tee tuu tuu tuu!!

So with that, whenever I was put into the room, I just sat behind the door quietly with my eyes closed; thinking about cartoons that made me smile (like the huge mouth aliens on Sesame Street that go "yip yip yip" like 62 times then followed a "ouh ouk. ouh ouk").

My parents soon realised that their conventional method of temporarily disabling my sight has proved ineffective. They had a few other tricks in their deep sadistic pockets.

To be continued…